So I mentioned before that I had an idea. A really big, God-sized idea. I'm still hashing out details, and I'm sure my next stage of thinking will have some significant differences from my original thoughts.
Are you confused? Clearly I am.
I forced myself, however, to leave the first couple of sentences. And I do mean FORCED.
I have control issues, you see. God has really been working on me in this area, reminding me that He is in control, and I, despite my valiant efforts, am not.
I've often been encouraged to journal as a way of sorting out my thoughts and feelings. I've never really been very successful, though, because I tend to want everything "just so", with the perfect purple prose and gorgeous grammar. Something in me just cannot put a "draft" on paper, at least one that is so clearly "stream of consciousness".
I'm working hard on that. Hence the jumble that opened this post.
At any rate, part of my really big, God-sized idea is a book. As in me. Writing one.
I've had this dream of being a published writer for a long time. I love to write, and have been told it is one of my gifts. Unfortunately, I'm at a loss for topics. I don't see myself as a fiction writer, and yet I can't readily envision a non-fiction piece either.
Which is, of course, a dilemma, since every piece of writing falls pretty squarely into either fiction or non-fiction.
So I decided to go back to the beginning of writing and back to the old-school fall backs. Prompts. Ironically, for as much as I like to write, I never much cared for prompts when they were assigned. Writing about "what I did on my summer vacation" was not high on my priority list the first week back at school. Revisiting "a time when I was frightened" seemed pointless to me. Why in the world would I want to relive something that frightened me?
Fortunately, I'm not the only wannabe author in the world. I recently found a great blog that offers writing prompts. I'm going to have to commit myself to this exercise (sort of like my early morning workouts, but that's another story entirely) in order to see any results. I'll be using this blog as my forum, so I'll rely on all of you to be my audience. I'm apologizing in advance.
Meanwhile, I'll be praying that God helps clear the mud in my head and clarifies what He's working on with this "big idea".
Gracious and loving God, Author of all our stories, I'm trying so hard to really let You be in control. It's easier when I don't have crisis hanging over me, I know, but still I struggle.
I'm sure You're going somewhere with all of the change in me, and I do trust You. Please help me to trust You even more, as You continue to write my story.