"Why should I feel discouraged, when the shadows come? Why should my heart be lonely, longing for Heaven and home?"
I, like so many others, struggle with clinical depression. We're not talking about having a bad day, just down in the dumps kind of feelings. I'm talking serious, long-term, want to stay in bed all day, stop the world I want to get off kind of feelings. Fortunately, I have wonderful friends and family, a great Christian therapist, and the right medications.
Recently, I found a new blog, Heart Reflections. A pastor's wife, Shane shares her heart openly, and her post about Journalling Through the Psalms really spoke to my own heart.
I love the Psalms. Perhaps it is because they were David's songs. He sang and played what was in his heart. Sometimes he was happy, and sometimes, he despaired. But always, he relied on the Lord.
"Yahweh, I know You are near.
Standing always at my side.
You guard me from the foe
and you lead me in ways everlasting."
I am coming to feel, more and more, the constant presence of God in my life. It is difficult to put into words, and maybe that's how it should be. So awe-inspiring, so peace-giving, that words fail. Or words without tune, anyway.
"The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be.
As long as life endures."
I know that He is there, through the peaks and valleys. He is with me when I worship and when I despair. When I celebrate and when I weep. I know, because I have felt His arms embrace me, through those of friends."I sing because I'm happy. I sing because I'm free. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."
And so, to the God who is with me forever, I sing in the only way I know how.